


Comparing John Hamish Watson to a Hobbit

by CaptainOfShips



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Hobbit John, Hobbits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 12:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainOfShips/pseuds/CaptainOfShips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"God... I knew showing you Lord of the Rings last week would come back to haunt me." ~John</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comparing John Hamish Watson to a Hobbit

**Author's Note:**

> These thing on a hobbit, I got from the very front page of my own Hobbit book, so that's what Sherlock references if its not clear to you, and basically how I was able to write this.  
> So, enjoy!

"John. I made something for you that you may find most pleasing."

"Sherlock. What did you..."

The detective handed his flatmate a piece of paper that looked like it had been ripped from a book.

Johns eyes immediately were focused on the label Sherlock had wrote on the top, which read _'Comparing John Hamish Watson to a hobbit.'_

"God... I knew showing you Lord of the Rings last week would come back to haunt me."

Sherlock just nodded for his flatmate to continue as he laid back on couch, and closed his eyes. John remained standing in the middle of the room, focusing his attention on the detailed comparison between his self and a fictional being.

As he began reading to himself, there was no acknowledgment of the smug grin that crept across Sherlock's face.   
  
 _Hobbits are little people, smaller than dwarves. John is smaller than most people, including dwarves since they are most fictional._  
  
Was this Sherlock's attempt at humor?  
  
 _Hobbits love peace and quiet and good tilled earth. John seems to love when he can receive peace and quiet from myself, when possible._  
  
God, he knew he should just stop now. But, it looked as though Sherlock put a good amount of effort into this. More than he did with most things that weren't work...  
  
 _Hobbits dislike machines, but they are handy with tools. John has rows with chip-and-pin machines. Sometimes fixes things I break._  
 _Hobbits are nimble, but don't like to hurry. John can be nimble on cases and doesn't like to hurry when not on cases._  
 _Hobbits have sharp ears and eyes, and incline to be fat. John would be fat if not for running around with me on cases. Must conduct more tests on John to have his eyes and ears be considered 'sharp'._  
  
The army doctor really disliked being the guinea pig to the detectives experiments, but if they were just focused completely on him... he guess he could handle it...  
  
 _Hobbits wear bright colors but seldom wear shoes. John wears... unique, bright colored jumpers he buys himself. Most often wear shoes._  
 _Hobbits like to laugh and eat and drink. Not familiar with Johns eating patterns, but I assume he eats enough as necessary when time allows._  
 _Hobbits like parties and they like to give and receive presents. Never seen John go to a party, nor give anyone a present._  
 _Hobbits inhabit in a land they call the Shire. Johns mind palace must be located in the Shire._  
 _Conclusion: John Hamish Watson is a hobbit._  
  
"Is this what you do while I'm away..." John asked, turning to his flatmate. Folding up the very interesting thesis, he handed it back the man insane enough to write it.

"I thought you might like it."

"... comparing me to fictional characters..."

"You seemed very intrigued when you made me watch those movies..."

"... Im surprised you haven't made an list of comparing me to Doctor Who characters when I watch that."

"... I made the connections almost immediately."

There was a moment of silence as John glared at Sherlock, who was still peacefully lying on the couch in his thinking position, "How did you get these things on a hobbit anyway?"

The detective nodded down toward the Hobbit book which laid sprawled across the floor.

In the very front of the book were the qualifications of a hobbit. In the back, John noticed pages torn out and missing 

"Not my book... I got this when I was ten years old, Sherlock. You can't keep... Are you even listening to me?"

Sherlock's eyes snapped open as if he just had an interesting thought. The look on his face was dead serious, but there was a certain, almost playfulness in his eyes.

"I've compared you to Rory Williams. Care to know why?"

"Sherlock..."

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: http://neverimpossiblehoweverimprobable.tumblr.com/  
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
